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September 30, 2011

Butch v. Tommy - Week Five

That fifth of Beethoven Butch drank last week obviously did not help his prognostication skills any, it only created a parallel universe where teams played as they were supposed to play and made Butch look good in the process. Instead, Butch began the week in exactly the opposite way he began the previous week. The previous week, Butch won his first three games before folding. Last week, Butch got the folding out of the way early - losing the first three games before saving some semblance of face by winning the final pair of contests. Tommy, meanwhile, continues to have his head grow two sizes too large with every passing week - especially since he got lucky that the Fighting Tedfords seemingly cannot figure out a way to score a touchdown in first and goal situations late in the fourth quarter. Without that helpful assist from the Tedfords, Tommy and Butch would have been tied last week at 3-2 - still fairly pathetic, but better than 2-3, where Butch resided. Instead, Tommy and the Tedfords conspired to make Tommy 4-1 on the week and now he is spouting off about a comeback while he is still below his famous .500 Line for the year after four weeks of predicting nonsense and shenanigans. The Tedfords saved you last week, Tommy, but they are not playing this week and they cannot help you now in Week Five.



Tommy: Ah, the sound of footsteps. Tommy's gainin', folks! But that's just the nature of this game. One of us takes an insurmountable lead, and then embarrasses ourselves once conference plays starts. Hey Butch, I guess it's your turn this year. Still, Tommy ain't gonna get too overconfident. Time to take another long drag of nog and do it again this week.

Butch: Tommy ain't gonna get overconfident!? Well, then that must make Tommy not a Trojan then - because Butch is pretty sure having an massive level of overconfidence is written into the contract before they allow one to be a boy of Troy. Also Tommy, nog is not in season yet [Butch gets the nog newsletter], so Butch has no idea what long drag you are taking - Four Loko, maybe - but it is most definitely not nog.




Wazzu at Colorado (-3)

Tommy: Sure, the Cougs pooped the bed in San Diego, but the Skirted One is still on board with an improved WSU squad, and would rather jump off the ship than trust the great Jon Embree. Butch learned that lesson last week, and I think he'll agree with me this time around. Too Close To Idaho-35, Too Close To New Mexico-31.

Butch: Oh Tommy, Butch thought you had progressed past the curse of the Embree tiki god, but…sigh…it appears the specter of Embree continues to alter your neurons. What Butch learned last week was not to trust Embree's teams on the road - on that, Butch agrees with Tommy - alas, this game is not on the road [where Wazzu would likely win] and the 4/20's play like a different team whenever they are closer to their marijuana plants. Butch takes the 4/20's to win and cover.



Arizona at USC (-13.5)

Tommy: The Trojans did about everything they could to handily lose a game where they won the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball, and Tommy's betting against a repeat of Turnover-palooza in Los Angeles. Oh, and by the way, Mike Stoops is gonna be mad! Good (so to speak) Guys-41, Mad Guy-20.

Butch: Butch thinks that now that the Pac-12 has a new television deal, they should use some of that money to have a Stoops Spittle Cam to catch all the times madness overtakes Stoops and then fans can rate the frothiness of the anger and talk about it incessantly on FaceTwit and then life would be so cool because everybody has a computer now and nobody ever talks to people any more - thanks Bill Gates! Wait…where was Butch? Oh yeah, Tommy's boys will clobber Arizona into next Tuesday [when Stoops will still be very angry…very angry indeed [cue Marvin the Martian image here] and selects the boys of Troy to win and cover.



Washington at Utah (-7.5)

Tommy: The Utes bounced back from the loss in LA with an absolute pasting of Brandon Davies University, but the Huskies are playing decent football. Tommy still doesn't think that Utah is ready for big conference football. They'll get the win, but Tom takes Butch's boys to cover. The School In Utah That Allows Sex-24, Is Sark A Better Coach Than Kiffin-21.

Butch: First of all - Utah is going to win this game. Head coach Kyle Whittingham is 6-0 straight up coming off a bye week in seven years in that state of low alcohol content [yes, you are permitted to read that both ways]. His teams are 4-2 ATS but both those spread losses were on the road - this game is not in Seattle. Butch is just glad it is the Hussies going to Utah and not somebody he cares deeply about. Butch takes the Oootes to win and cover.


Oregon State at Arizona State (-18)

Tommy: You lost to UCLA??? At home???!!! Uh, you're not very good.
Dirty Players-45, Bad Players-20.

Butch: Every time Butch picks against Riley's Rodents, they do something out of the normal confines of reality, then, every time he picks with them, they do exactly what is expected. What is up with that? Butch tempts fate yet again and makes the obvious choice - and selects Sporky to win and cover in this game.



UCLA at Stanford (-20.5)

Tommy: Come on, Vegas. Are you kidding? One team is elite, and the other has the master of the tournament pool as their head coach. It's unfortunate that very soon, Tom won't have ol' Neu to kick around any more. That's OK. I'm sure the Bruins will hire some other obscure Dorellian former alum and pay him $50 a year for the privilege.
Great Academics-42, Wanna Be Stanford-17.

Butch: The Bru-jobs have been progressively worse against the Trees. Three years ago, they won by a field goal, two years ago, they lost by a touchdown and two-point conversion and last year…oh boy…last year, they fell off a cliff and lost by five touchdowns. So that must explain why the Trees are only favored by a shade under three touchdowns at home? Butch takes the Trees to win and cover.







Tommy

Last Week: 4-1

Overall: 13-15-1




Butch

Last Week: 2-3

Overall: 15-13-1






+++++++sponsored by Greg Davis Sports Photography+++++++++

The college football prognosticating season is here…and you know what that means…[well besides Butch and Tommy going at each other's throats] It's time for a whole new season of Cougar Athletics! Football, soccer, volleyball, men's & women's basketball, baseball, track & field and tennis, just to name a few, are coming up right around the corner. If you need "game action" photographs for your newspaper, magazine, web site, blog, etc., then Greg Davis Sports Photography should be your choice for all things "Cougar" and "Pac-12 Conference"! Coverage for specific athletes or upcoming events is also available. Check out the images from games, practices and events from last season, and be sure to come back often for uploads from all of this season's action.


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