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December 25, 2006

The Telepathic Tabernacle Holiday Bowls - Week Two

Seven bowl games are in the books and already it's evident those books should be burned. The Telepathic Tabernacle has been noted for their keen judgment and ability to see through the haze of college football's bowl season - but that was back in 1999 when the mind was sharp and the knee was not trick. Now there are 32 bowl games and darned if the TeleTab can keep them all straight with Whozit State playing Whatzit Tech in the Thingamabobby Bowl. But that is no excuse for mediocrity. No, "the dog ate the homework" should do nicely there. The fact of the matter is that there is no way a Sun Belt team wins a bowl game and yet, there it was last week when Troy was doing some nasty things to Rice. Then there is Northern Illinois and Orgon - the Tab doesn't even want to go there - that was beyond nasty in both cases. But this is Week Two and although Week One was ugly, at least the Tab was still within shouting distance of mediocrity - and at least that's something to shoot for in these noggy holidays. Welcome to Week Two of the Tab's 2006 Holiday Bowl Game Extravaganza.

"Ted Nugent" Motor City Bowl

Central Michigan [9-4] v. Middle Tennessee State [7-5]

Line: Central Michigan by 9

Straight Up - Central Michigan

Against The Spread - CMU

Tab Sez: The Tab could not take all these hurtful comments from the boss and was praying for the weekend - then Troy happened. But the Tab figures that was a one-time only Sun Belt happening - and we are going with CMU to win and cover.

Emerald Bowl

Florida State [6-6] v. UCLA [7-5]

Line: UCLA by 4.5

Straight Up - UCLA

Against The Spread - UCLA

Tab Sez: What's in San Francisco this week? A team from Los Angeles and a team from Florida - not exactly much the locals to root for there so the Tab will make it easy and pick UCLA to win and cover because their pastel color scheme matches the décor of the wine cellar.

Independence "Holiday Fruitcake" Bowl

Alabama [6-6] v. Oklahoma State [6-6]

Line: Oklahoma State by 2.5

Straight Up - Oklahoma State

Against The Spread - OSU

Tab Sez: The loser of this bowl is guaranteed to be a loser - no kidding, it's really the Loser Bowl! The Tab takes OSU to be less of a loser.

Holiday Bowl

California [9-3] v. Texas A&M [9-3]

Line: California by 5

Straight Up - California

Against The Spread - Cal

Tab Sez: Here we go again. Two years ago, California had the opportunity to play for the Pac-10 conference and dropped the ball. This year, the Bears get a second chance and Marshawn Lynch gets the call.

Texas Bowl

Rutgers [10-2] v. Kansas State [7-5]

Line: Rutgers by 7

Straight Up - Rutgers

Against The Spread - Rutgers

Tab Sez: The Tab just loves saying "Rutgers". The word just oozes something that comes out of a grainy, black and white 16mm film. Rutgers had a near-miss at a bowl win last year - they should get the job done this year.

Music City Bowl

Clemson [8-4] v. Kentucky [7-5]

Line: Clemson by 10

Straight Up - Clemson

Against The Spread - Kentucky

Tab Sez: Once again, the overrated Tigers are being given the benefit of a Bowden at the helm - that seems to be the only way to explain this large and unwieldy line. The Tab doesn't really like Ken-Yucky that much - but likes them much better with 10 points in our pockets.

Sun Bowl

Oregon State [9-4] v. Missouri [8-4]

Line: Oregon State by 3

Straight Up - Oregon State

Against The Spread - OSU

Tab Sez: Purdue goes to bowl games, Purdue loses bowl games, end of story. The Tab takes OSU to win this game and cover that meager spread.

Liberty Bowl

South Carolina [7-5] v. Houston [10-3]

Line: South Carolina by 7

Straight Up - South Carolina

Against The Spread - Houston

Tab Sez: It would be a miracle on 34th Street if South Carolina covered this spread. The Tab takes the other Cougars to cover.

Insight Bowl

Minnesota [6-6] v. Texas Tech [7-5]

Line: Texas Tech by 7

Straight Up - Texas Tech

Against The Spread - Minnesota

Tab Sez: You better not pout, you better not cry, the Tab is tellin' you why - because we are not impressed with Texas Tech and their entire Big 12 conference and Santa is certainly not comin' to town for them. Minnesota is not exactly a holiday juggernaut, but the Tab feels better going with the Gophers.

Sports Bowl

Maryland [8-4] v. Purdue [8-5]

Line: Purdue by 1

Straight Up - Maryland

Against The Spread - Maryland

Tab Sez: Nobody can make up their minds about this game - the line started out 2.5 points in Maryland's favor and has now migrated over to Purdue while some see it as a PK. Not the Tab.

Meinecke "Lube Job" Bowl

Navy [9-3] v. Boston College [9-3]

Line: Boston College by 6

Straight Up - Boston College

Against The Spread - BC

Tab Sez: BC is 5-0 in the last five years…yeah, yeah, we know you know, but we just want to make sure you were not falling asleep in mid-bowl mode.

Alamo Bowl

Iowa [6-6] v. Texas [9-3]

Line: Texas by 10.5

Straight Up - Texas

Against The Spread - Iowa

Tab Sez: The Tab is not in the habit of substituting for spurious Santa Clauses, but Iowa should be thanking Santa for this X-mas gift of a bowl and subsequent extension of the season for them. Otherwise, how in the world could the Hawkeyes have talked their way into a bowl? Our puzzlers were sore even trying to think of that but now that they are here, might as well cover the spread.

Chick fil-A Bowl

Virginia Tech [10-2] v. Georgia [8-4]

Line: Virginia Tech by 2.5

Straight Up - Virginia Tech

Against The Spread - V-Tech

Tab Sez: Finally! The first bowl game we remotely care about in over a week. No, not really - ha ha - fooled ya! - and it's not even April 1st!

Boise "MPC Computers" Bowl

Nevada [8-4] v. Miami [6-6]

Line: Miami by 3.5

Straight Up - Miami

Against The Spread - Nevada

Tab Sez: Okay, look, nobody wants to be here. Not the fans from anywhere other than Boise, not Nevada - who can get weather like this, only without the blue turf and with the buffet special and loose slots - and certainly not Miami, who has better things to do than to spend their New Year's Eve in Boise.

Week One

Straight Up: 3-4

Agaisnt The Spread: 3-4

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